Wife accuses husband of nefarious relationship with his 'sister' upon finding out she isn’t his bio sister, creating trust issues between them: 'That behavior isn't normal'

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Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Jan 2, 2025 2:00 PM EST

Welcome back ladies and gentlemen of the internet. When you enter a relationship with someone, trust is the most important foundation to build off of. A relationship predicated on lies, deceit, or betrayal will never last, nor should it. Trust and the act of building it is multifaceted; what is the essence of honesty? Where's the line between necessary honesty and unnecessary honesty? Telling your partner they don't look good may come across as disrespectful and hurtful, under the guise of honesty. But if it's not necessary information for obvious reasons of building trust, it may not be so kind to just spill out what you feel is 'honest.'

In this Reddit thread, the original poster (OP) is a man who's been accused of being untrustworthy, of withholding information from his wife over the relationship with his 'sister.' She's always been under the assumption that they were biologically related, only to find out years into the marriage that she's his stepsister. Is it a big deal? Read the full story below to find out. 

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  • 01
    I told my wife to get her head checked, which was admittedly a bit harsh, but I just thought what my wife was saying was absolutely ridiculous.
    via Canva
  • 02
    r/AITAH ⚫ 12 hr. ago LetFeeling8369 AITAH for telling my wife I did not "hide" from her that my sister was in fact my step sister?
    via u/LetFeeling8369

    Is this a big deal? Some people have trust issues; with just the smell of withholding information some people go bananas, and feel like they're spiraling to a place they don't want to be. Full of accusations, lamentations, and assumptions of deceit, it's always best to put things right on the surface, even if it doesn't seem important to you.  

  • 03
    My wife and I have been married for 3 years and together for 7. For context, my bio mom sadly passed during childbirth, and a couple years later, my dad married my step mom, who had a daughter aged 1. My step mom's husband had also sadly passed away when her daughter was only a couple of months old.
    via u/LetFeeling8369
  • 04
    Now all that say, for all intents and purposes, my step mom is my mom and my step sister is my sister, as they have been with me my whole life. While I was happy that my dad and step mom loved each other a lot and bonded over shared grief, it also led to them abandoning both me and my sister.
    via u/LetFeeling8369
  • 05
    Ever since kindergarten, my sister and I kind of had to rely on ourselves, and so we have a bond, which is strong to this day.
    via u/LetFeeling8369
  • 06
    My wife is friends with my sister and she always thought our bother sister bond was sweet. However, last week, she "found out" that my sister was actually my step sister, and she freaked out. She asked me why had I hidden this from her so long, and I told her there was nothing to hide, it just didn't strike my mind to bring this up. My wife
    via u/LetFeeling8369

    His part of the story makes sense. He is so accustomed to referring to his stepsister as 'sister' that it didn't occur to him that he was doing anything wrong, or withholding any information. But from her perspective, she might wonder why he 'hid' it.  

  • 07
    also told me a lot of the stuff my step sister and I do is normal if we're blod brother and sister, but very weird if we're actually step siblings. She said my step sister is too clingy to me, and it's weird for a step sibling.
    via u/LetFeeling8369
  • 08
    I told my wife to get her head checked, which was admittedly a bit harsh, but I just thought what my wife was saying was absolutely ridiculous. AITAH?
    via u/LetFeeling8369
  • 09
    Sudden-Pomegr... 12h ago • Top 5% Commenter Does your wife often watch videos on the P hub? Cause unless she's getting stuck in the washing machine often and ringing you over for help I'm not quite sure what you could be doing that's so strange.
    via u/Sudden-Pomegr
  • 10
    S... 12h ago Edited 8h ago • Top 5% Commenter NTA. While I do think it is a bit odd that this never came up even once in seven years, this is nothing to get mad over. And, it sounds like your wife puts way to much stock in "bl d relation" with this whole "they way you two act is ok only if you were related
    via u/Spirited_Cry9171
  • 11
    by bl d" thing. Your wife is way too hung up on semantics here. I could maybe understand her being a bit confused as to why this never came up, but certainly not mad.
    via u/Spirited_Cry9171
  • 12
    Edit: Since some people are replying to me and seem to be hung up on this: I never claimed that OP's mom and sister are not family or are not really his mom and sister because they are technically steps. I'm simply saying that it seems odd to ME that the story of how his family came to be wouldn't come up with
    via u/Spirited_Cry9171
  • 13
    his partner even ONE TIME in seven years. I guess I just come from a family where not sharing this kind of stuff would be really weird. Even with my friends...at SOME point during our long friendship it would have absolutely come up about how my family came to be. But, I guess I'm just they type
    via u/Spirited_Cry9171
  • 14
    of person who makes conversation with people...
    via u/Spirited_Cry9171
  • 15
    Violetassh 1h ago • It seems like ur wife's reaction was a bit extreme, especially if ur sister's been a part of ur life for so long. I get that maybe the clinginess might be weird to her, but if u two have always had that bond, I don't see why it's suddenly a problem. Maybe it would've
    via u/Violetassh
  • 16
    helped to explain the whole situation a bit more before she found out, but it doesn't sound like u were hiding anything on purpose. I'd just have a calm convo with her about it to clear things up.
    via u/Violetassh
  • 17
    Significant-Bobc... 12h ago • NTA. The comment was a bit harsh, but she sounds like she's feeling some insecurities. I'd have a calm convo with her and reiterate that you understand how she might think it's obvious to mention something like that,
    via u/Significant-Bobc
  • 18
    but that because you grew up so close and have the relationship you have, it's not even something you ever think about. I think she's just fighting some internal feelings rn
    via u/Significant-Bobc
  • 19
    waxedgooch ⚫ 11h ago • Top 1% Commenter It speaks volumes of your relationship, that your wife didn't know your birth mom. di d and your dad remarried. Like, that's fundamental stuff. My wife and I know our whole histories, there's like literally nothing left to say. I find it.
    via u/waxedgooch
  • 20
    insane that you two seemingly never speak about your lives but you do you.... then again that's why you have insane situations like this happening
    via u/waxedgooch
  • 21
    Logical Differenc... • 11h ago. Top 1% Commenter I mean, your wife is acting weird about the "step sibling" part but honestly, how the h I are you with someone for 7 years and not tell them your family history like this? I mean, from your biological mother passing, your father
    via u/Logical Differenc
  • 22
    and step mother abandoning you, etc. if I found out something this huge about my husbands life 7 years into the relationship, I'd think it was super weird and honestly wonder what else you're not sharing.
    via u/Logical Differenc
  • 23
    Odd Craft3946 11h ago You've been with your wife for 7 years and she didn't know your birth mom did, other stuff aside, that's kinda crazy to me.
    via u/Odd Craft3946

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